That Floating Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.
As we consider the TV offerings of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
How to start with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with woeful scripts, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third season started, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seemaâs natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the last season. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Mirandaâs toilet flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers certainly found joy picking apart every single âwhat on earth?â moment. And as Carrie â once again single â danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didnât release a small sob?
Allâs Fair
âIs Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she canât.â
But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to start listing the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The tedious veneration of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate procession of tropes? Performances so bad they felt almost malicious? Letâs just say âall of the aboveâ and forget about this series again. Except, a second season has been commissioned, so weâre likely going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence claims and parental failures, itâs reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not youâd really have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheenâs various bouts of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.
The Iris Affair
Of course we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises â or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its leads ⊠but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe ⊠in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.
MobLand
Dodgy characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigyâs Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didnât endure the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just really dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, itâs temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussexâs televised forays into twee lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they may have a point. Itâs like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting âtipsâ youâll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are obviously interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Rather, the experience was akin to reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her âsternâ image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.
The Game Show
It should have been the next big hit â except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: itâs still too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.
Too Much
How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt icky.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not even good enough to be âpatchyâ.
Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isnât it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from oddly breezy, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We love the lead actor ⊠but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent heâs on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on â and eliminating â academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for sexual exploits as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.